That’s the Power of Al’s Love

 Although I rail week after week against the putrid bucket of shit that is Al Yellon even I cannot deny that the man holds some strange power over people. Some would call it charisma, others kavorka I just think that much like Hitler, Al possesses the ability to inspire fanatical devotion among brainless drones.  Without a doubt Sue369 is the Eva Braun of Mr. Yellon’s 4th Reich but there is another woman who has given her heart & soul to the balding leader of men. That woman/thing is known as KOW but also uses the aliases kerrysotherwife and cubstoseriesby100.  Because of her disgusting appearance and repulsive personality Al likes to keep their relationship on the DL by being rude or brusque with her in front of the other lemmings. This is alot like some High School love affairs where the Quarterback of the football team makes fun of the band girl at lunch but goes and fingerbangs her after school because he is secretly turned on by her emo-geek ways. But I digress, even though Al tries to act uninterested the smoldering tension between them has been known to erupt here and there over at BCB  leaving hints of their real feelings for each other for all the world to see.  Take this startling admission from KOW about the changes that have occurred in her life since she met Al.

What I Meant

What I meant by calling AL our leader as he is the leader of the site.

I don’t mean we follow Al in every aspect of our lives although I do. Al sends me a list of daily activities and advice on how to live my life. . Since I met Al I’ve lost over 100 pounds, had my teeth and hair fixed and lead a better life.

J/k. Actually it’s is true since I “met” Al I have lost over 100 pounds and gotten my teeth fixed and my life has improved due to those things.

We are all waiting for that glorious October night when we finally win it all. Until then we will continue to cheer, never do the wave and hope.

by cubstoseriesby100 on Apr 21, 2008 9:50 AM CDT   0 recs

Seeing the kind of healing love that Al Yellon must have rained down on this woman really reminds me of what “it” is all about. It’s not about blogging about what a douche another blogger is, it’s not about mocking people or sticking it in my wife’s ass last night by “accident” for the 3rd time this week. No, life is Life is about people. It’s about connections.  It’s not about cocks, and ass, and tits.  It’s not about butthole pleasures at all.  It’s not about these rusty trombones, and these dirty sanchez.  And these cincinatti bowties, and these pussy juice cocktail, and these shit stained balls. It’s about love. And love alone has changed this woman from looking like this hideous boner killing monster

Pre-Al

Into this lovely swan

all photos credited to Jame Gumb.

Huey Lewis said it best when he penned this immortal lyrics

The power of love is a curious thing
Make a one man weep, make another man sing
Change a hawk to a little white dove
More than a feeling thats the power of love

fin.

Al Yellon just doesn’t “get it” Vol. 1

Stupid Def- 

1.	lacking ordinary quickness and keenness of mind; dull.

 Hat tip to “Wreckard” over at BCB for shedding light on just how stupid Al Yellon really is. It’s been said before but it is simply amazing that man who spends so much of his life watching baseball has learned so little about the game.  The following exchange is a perfect illustration of just how empty his mind really is.

I disagree.

Maybe the price was too steep, but take a look at the fifth starters for all other teams. Marquis did better than the overwhelming majority of them.

“That’s my opinion and if you don’t like it, well, I have others.” ~ Groucho Marx

by Al on Jan 25, 2009 1:56 PM CST  up  reply   0 recs

I’ve never understood that argument

Who cares what crap other people are trotting out there every 5th day?

Marquis isn’t a good pitcher. If you can find a better pitcher to trot out there (say, Sean Marshall, or better yet Jake Peavy) then you’re even better off.

Sure you lose Marshall in the pen, but he’s more valuable to us in the rotation (since he’ll get more innings that way).

by Wreckard on Jan 26, 2009 7:51 AM CST  up  reply   0 recs

Marquis did the job he was asked to do…

… throw 5 or 6 decent innings and keep his team in the game.

The Jake Peavy argument isn’t relevant, because Peavy isn’t a “fifth starter”. It IS relevant to compare him to other fifth starters.

As far as Marshall is concerned, the concern about him is that he doesn’t have the stamina to be a fulltime starter. Thus putting him in the rotation fulltime and giving him more innings — last year — might have been counterproductive.

Whether he can handle such a workload is still not proven.

“That’s my opinion and if you don’t like it, well, I have others.” ~ Groucho Marx

by Al

 

 

 

 

 Oh, you’ll have to excuse me, after reading that idiocy I had to go and bang my head against a brick wall.  I don’t need to take the time to explain why Al’s comments are so stupid because I assume the readership of F.A.Y. is semi-educated enough to pick it up for yourselves. All I can say is that this proves that Al Yellon just doesn’t “get it” when it comes to the game of baseball.  In our next post I hope Chuck will help  show how Al doesn’t get it when it comes to the world of business either.

Fire Al Yellon Presents: Content You Can’t Find Anywhere Else Vol # 2

Some deep thoughts from BCB’s Editor-in-Chief  Cockgobbler. Keep in mind this man is the leader of the most read Cubs blog on the internet(s) . A blog about sports team. That team plays baseball.

 I work with Mark Giangreco.

It’s definitely his real hair.

“That’s my opinion and if you don’t like it, well, I have others.” ~ Groucho Marx

by Al on Jan 23, 2009 4:04 AM CST up reply   0 recs

Al went to the Cubs Convention. As leader of the most popular blog he surely went and asked the hard questions for all those who don’t live in Chicago/in a state of perpetual adolescence, and who can’t skip work in the middle of the Great Depression v2.0 to attend a cheerleading camp for a sports team. Or not. 

  I told Reed I’d play his stunt double if he wanted.

He laughed.

“That’s my opinion and if you don’t like it, well, I have others.” ~ Groucho Marx

by Al on Jan 17, 2009 4:00 PM CST reply   0 recs

Al with a lesson in geography, this is a necessity because apparently most BCB readers are either A) Under the age of 7 or B) Mentally retarded.

Canada is part of North America. 

 

 

“That’s my opinion and if you don’t like it, well, I have others.” ~ Groucho Marx

by Al on Jan 21, 2009 2:03 PM CST up reply   0 recs

Al talking about how another man looks.

Still those eyebrows, and with those stylish sideburns!

“That’s my opinion and if you don’t like it, well, I have others.” ~ Groucho Marx

by Al on Jan 16, 2009 10:26 AM CST up reply   0 recs

Some lemming starts a thread about Rich Aurilla becoming a possible backup IF and Al gives us his invaluable opinion

Mmmm. I love pie.  

That’s my opinion and if you don’t like it, well, I have others.” ~ Groucho Marx  

 

by Al on Jan 16, 2009 7:18 AM CST up reply   0 recs  

Al on race.  

He still is African-American.  (Gross! Fucking Nasty!)- Al’s inner thoughts added by dylanj) 

“That’s my opinion and if you don’t like it, well, I have others.” ~ Groucho Marx

by Al on Jan 21, 2009 1:44 PM CST up reply   0 recs

Al on Race Pt 2. Somebody posts a pic of two black guys who look alike. Al’s got the 1st comment. 

 

 That is… frightening.

“That’s my opinion and if you don’t like it, well, I have others.” ~ Groucho Marx

by Al on Jan 14, 2009 10:28 AM CST reply   0 recs

Let’s end with a common yet timeless Al-ism. This little chestnut never gets old for me because Al can dust it off time after time when he can’t be bothered to form words during a discussion. 

 

Rec’d

“That’s my opinion and if you don’t like it, well, I have others.” ~ Groucho Marx

by Al on Jan 13, 2009 3:50 AM CST up reply   0 recs

 

Well there you have it folks. Another fun example of why Al Yellon runs the SB Nation blog. It’s because most people are mouth-breathers who would suffer multiple aneurism if they tried to digest actual insight into the game of baseball.  

 

Mea Culpa Revisited

Lies and the lying liar who lied them.

It’s been almost two years since Blogmeister Yellon issued his magnum opus of hypocrisy. Today we will take a look at Mr. Yellon’s then desperate attempt to keep his blog alive after Mass Exodus/Purge # 1. This post is significant because it exposes the lengths Al will go to protect his precious site traffic. Those ad’s must really generate some extra dough for Al because he lies so many times in this post the only logical conclusion I can come up with is that he was fearful that his natural shittyness had scared away the lemming herd for good. Let’s begin our examination.

Mea Culpa. Mea Maxima Culpa. 

That’s cliché Latin, of course, but it’s the best I can do, because I am typing this post with one hand while trying to remove my foot from my mouth with the other.- He failed to mention that he was trying to remove his male lovers dick from his ass with his other hand. 

I have many times at this site said that if I were wrong about something I would freely admit it.- Saying it doesn’t make it true Al. You never admit when you are wrong and your lack of self awareness in this matter is stunning.Just a couple of examples: I was wrong about Greg Maddux not being traded at the deadline last year; and I wrote quite a long post finally giving up my support for Dusty Baker, long after I should have.- Ahh the Maddux trade, another thing that was NOT going to happen.

And wow, have I been wrong this past week, and I wanted to say so, and let each and every one of you know, so that we can get this community back to being the great place that each and every one of you has helped make it.-And by community Al meant a website devoted to snaring in as much traffic as possible so a few stray lemmings will click on advertisements for Cafe Press or MLB.com. Also, I was around BCB in early 07 and that was not a great place at all. It was the exact same place as it is right now. In other words it was shit.

Here it is: I was wrong. I take the blame. I ask you to read and think and forgive.- Translation- Please don’t leave, I know I’m a douche and offer no content or real analysis but please just stay for scans of my scorecards and banal observations from the bleachers. I’m a very lonely man and the hookers that I craigslist keeping robbing and leaving me. You people are all I have left!

I’ve been called a dictator at times, You are.and while I think that’s a little over-the-top, It’s not. I have heard from some of you that I was too heavy-handed last week in addressing the community guidelines. That’s the last thing I want for this site.Actually the last thing you want on your site is dissent. Or discussion. Or black people& the gheys. In going back and re-reading the offending comments, and thinking about how I handled that situation, I’ll admit that you guys have a point. I should have handled that situation differently, and as you will see below, in the future, I pledge to you that I will. No you wont Al. You most certainly will not change a thing.

That said, I felt that things such as hijacking of diaries, and all the various comments and diaries about the nuts and bolts of the site, took away from our mission here Make $ – which is to enjoy baseball and the Cubs and, when appropriate,  other things, too, and have fun. It should have been a clue to everyone on the internet that if the guy running the blog has to remind you to have fun (when he deems it appropriate) you should just keep on surfin’ to a new site. I was concerned that we were getting away from that, and am still concerned about it; again I give you a pledge that I will deal with it more effectively in the future, and one thing all of you can do is help me in that effort, and I have in fact had some help already, particularly in putting together this post, and for that, I am deeply grateful. (You know who you are!) No I don’t know who this person is, but I would like to find out. So I can punch them.

A blog is a living organism in many ways, particularly when it’s set up the way BCB is, with free and open commenting Are you fucking kidding me?, and incidentally, SBNation is within the next few months going to roll out a vastly improved commenting system (as well as some other upgrades) which I think all of you will like.  Hey Lemmings dont leave, Daddy Kos is going to provide us with new shiny bells and whistles and a system that allows us to LSA and REC’d 95 % faster!!

I’m digressing, so let me get to the point. If any of you — anyone — thinks that I have been too dictatorial, too smothering, too picky, too patrolling, too stifling, then you are right, and I have been wrong. I may be the oldest blogger at SBNation, but that doesn’t mean I can’t learn a valuable lesson and change. Apparently it does, Al Yellon is now a case study for why people over 50 should be shot.

As you know, I’ve set up community guidelines here, and have been accused of “censorship” as a result. No need for the quotation marks Al, its not quasi censorship, it’s the real deal complete with the requisite banning and comment deletions for those who offend your delicate sensibilities. The guidelines were not and are not supposed to “censor”; all they are supposed to accomplish is to keep a level of civil discussion among people who can get quite passionate about their positions, as well as keep the diary system from degenerating into 1500 different diaries on “Jason Marquis sucks!” I admit to all of you today that I may have been too heavy-handed in attempting to stick to these guidelines, and I’m going to stop doing that. That’s a lie. Period.Lie No excuses,Another lie no loopholes,*cough Liar! I’m just going to stop.Nope. As such, I have tweaked the guidelines a bit, and I encourage all of you to check them out if you haven’t lately, or not at all. This guy is so fucking delusional that he thinks people reading a Cubs blog really want to take time out of their day to read his stupid fucking make believe guidelines and study them as if it were the Bill of Rights. What a twat.

So today I invite each and every one of you — yes, you, you the ones who are apparently voluntarily staying away, because yes, So much excess wordage here, Al never learned that English is a language best served by getting to the point. I noticed the silence here yesterday too — to come back, to post freely (Within reason), about anything (But not really)and everything (As long as this everything doesn’t include barbecue, coleslaw or anything that makes Al uncomfortable) .  I note that has already begun today, and I’m glad to see that. Diary hijacking? Well, I think I overreacted. Please feel free, and I mean that. All I ask are two things:

• please, no name-calling. There are ways to criticize another poster’s post without calling him or her a “moron”.
• try to keep the profanity level down. I don’t mind the occasional “fuck” ooh la la-Another plea for gay sex on his baseball blog, for shame Mr. Yellon , or even “fuckwit”. But we do have kids reading BCB — mine, for one. That poor child.

I should mention here that in the aftermath of some of the things that occurred here last week, cubbiejulie has begunher own site.   And changed her name, filed a restraining order and moved to Alaska you creepy old man. On the great big Internets, that’s everyone’s prerogative. As long as she doesn’t violate your “intellectual property” If I did anything personally to her that caused her to leave,  You did.I apologize for that as well, for it was certainly not my intention to do so. But it WAS your intention to…… I wish her well. Baseball games start this Thursday! I’ll have an open thread posted that day. C’mon back, everyone, and I meaneveryone. Except for the following people-                                                                                            

Al Yellon is ordering you NOT to worry about Rich Harden

Rich Harden is a really good pitcher. Rich Harden is in fact the best starter that the Cubs have. It’s recently come to light that Rich Harden has a tear in his pitching shoulder which is a pretty big fucking deal for anybody but an even bigger one given his past injury history. This news was important enough to even cause discomfort among the lemming herd at BCB until Der Furher showed up to order everyone to stop talking about it.        

This is NOT news. This is typical Wittenmyer playing fast & loose with facts trying to stir up trouble.

Harden had this “tear” (which is another word for a muscle strain) when the Cubs exercised his option and it was announced at that time. He is doing a rigorous workout program and is expected to be ready for spring training.

I would NOT worry about this.

“That’s my opinion and if you don’t like it, well, I have others.” ~ Groucho Marx by Al

on Jan 18, 2009 12:10 PM CST up reply   0 recs

Now I’m usually not one to defend Gordon “I luv Sam Fuld’s Cock 4eva” Wittenmeyer but he is a reporter, and a tear to the pitching shoulder of our most dominant starter is the most newsworthy thing Gordo has put into the paper in well, ever. But in Al’s world anything that isn’t Cubbies and sunshine is verboten! and should be ignored until Crane Kenney faxes Al an authentic copy of Rich Harden’s death certificate. It’s typical that the Editor-in-Chief * of the most popular Cubs blog on the internet would be opposed to leading a real debate over a real issue facing the team and prefer to become this

                                        

Milton Bradley- The Signing That Never Took Place.

Al Yellon hates him some street niggaz. And by street niggaz, I mean any black person who wears his hat backwards, likes rap, has an opinion different than his own,speaks his/her mind, eats food or is currently breathing. 

Nevermind the fact that he publicly called for the removal of blacks from the Hall of Fame, what really gets Al’s racist juices flowing is the thought of his beloved Cubbies signing a darkie who speaks his mind to play RF.  You see blacks like Milton Bradley scare Al, he likes his coloreds to be quiet and humble and never ever ever do anything that attracts attention to themselves. He likes the Jacque Jones style of black, “well spoken”, non threatening, and most importantly, willing to walk away when the drunk hicks in the RF bleachers who Al spends so many summers with call our African American players niggers. Or send them letters calling them niggers.…or call them on the phone to say nigger and then hang up.

It’s distasteful to him that Milton Bradley stoop up for himself and confronted racist prick Mike Winters. When Al wasn’t busy trying to convince everyone that nothing happened, despite the overwhelming evidence to the contrary , he was whining about how Bradley should have “walked away”.

Interestingly enough, that’s not what Al said at the time of the incident. Back then when Bradley was just another nigger playing for a far away city Al thought Winters was at fault. It seems that Al is fine with blacks like Bradley playing for somebody else but as soon as there are whispers of the Cubs signing one it and by default they become the problem. 

Al then launched a very public campaign against Bradley and asking the Cubs to instead sign the very white Adam Dunn.  Because site traffic is the deity that Al worships he decided to cloak his racism by attacking Bradley’s character and his injury history.  In Al’s little world stats don’t play baseball games but character does. He easily ignored the fact that by almost every stat available presented by numerous voices both pro and anti BCB Bradley was far superior to the pigment challenged Dunn.

His injury history approach was even more laughable considering Al to this day is planning on partaking in perhaps the gayest protest since last years gay pride parade  in protesting the Cubs wise decisions to let oft-injured white pitcher Kerry Wood go and trade the overrated and white Mark DeRosa. The protest over Wood is most damming. For a man to have pathetically posted a list of every missed game for Bradley yet overlook that fact that nobody in the history of the world has been hurt as much as Kerry Wood is telling.

In a nutshell Al wanted the Cubs to spend 10 million dollars on 60 IP from a white player with  a longer injury history than a black player who would be an everyday starter in RF. So we can just throw out the injury smokescreen as well as the character bullshit Al used to cover his real motive in opposing the Bradley deal. And that motive is the fact that Al Yellon is terrified of of black people, compulsively wets his pants at the sight of a doo-rag or gold grill, thinks people should just “walk away” whenever watermelon or friend chicken is served and eats every single on of his baloney sandwiches on white bread.

 

Thanks to JG for the edits.

Content You Can’t Find Anywhere Else Vol. 1-

A look at some of the stellar insights and contributions from the ¡SB NATION BLOG’s! Editor-in-Chief.

Keep in mind that this man is the leader of the “Best Cubs blog on the internet(s).”  You would think that he would be a leader in providing in-depth,solid looks at the team.  I mean SB NATION chose this man to share his wisdom and knowledge of the game with the rest of us. Sadly, the only wisdom Al has acquired over the years is an intimate knowledge of the men’s restroom and an internal ,yet painful, self awareness of just how worthless he really is. Anyways I will save my ANGER for the next volume but today lets take a brief yet telling look at Mr. Yellon’s contributions.

LSA- This is a stupid fucking acronym for “Loud, Sustained Applause” which was a stupid fucking phrase Al used to use when he agreed with something. Typically found when a poster advocated removing blacks from the HOF or when some fuckwit would sniff that “Stats are fine for you fucking nerds in your mom’s basement but they dont play baseball games”. Al has typed “LSA” 132 fucking times.  Oh and on days when he REALLY liked something he read- for instance anything Cubbiejulie wrote before he gave her the creepies, he would write out the full version of LSA, something he did a stunning 177 times.  Why does this matter? It matters because 300 times this fucker decided to cop out rather than articulate WHY he was agreeing with something. You see taking a worded out stand for or against something  causes Al to reveal just how empty and misguided his thought process is so when important topics like “Is Felix Pie the future or should we trade him?”  back when Felix Pie was the future and we could have traded him came up Al played it safe as opposed to writing something remotely containing substance.

I was going to do a similar search to find out how many times that fuckwit has posted “+1″ and nothing else but the search engine won’t allow that. Rest assured it would be a high number, Al really seems to get off on posting no calorie content on his own fucking blog which is probably why his wife left him. (That or the fact he sucks at life. That or the fact that he is a racist prick. That or the fact that he has allegedly engaged in thousands of trysts in the men’s restroom during the 7th inning stretch. That or the fact that he hates his gay side and therefore hates gay people. That or the fact he exploits his kid on the Internet which is filled with freaks who like pictures of pre-pubescent boys. That or the fact he’s bald.)

In our next issue we will explore Al’s in depth coverage of the Milton Bradley signing. Hint: He still doesn’t think the press conference was real.

Fire Al Yellon Presents- If The Shoe Fits Vol. 1

Pussy-

5. Slang A man regarded as weak, timid, or unmanly.

Exhibit A- He reminded me that the Cubs owe the White Sox an 8-run retort at some point, having blown an 8-run lead on June 28, 2002 at the Cell—that was the day that I left the Cell (I don’t think it was called that then, but that’s an easy shorthand) wearing my Kerry Wood jersey, to yells of “Cubs suck!“ from Sox fans. I turned around and said, “I can’t argue with you today.“ Shut ‘em right up.
—Al

Exhibit B- Correct. Starting a confrontation with obviously drunk people in a dark parking lot is not my idea of a good thing to do.
-Al

Exhibit C- Yes, there were fights… but not like now. The “goon squads” didn’t start till the 1970’s, the first real example was the “Broad Street Bullies”, the Flyers of the 70’s.I still maintain it’s unnecessary. You can have tough hard played hockey games without fistfights.“That’s my opinion and if you don’t like it, well, I have others.“ ~ Groucho Marx
-Al

Exhibit D- Without excusing the alleged racial remarks (and we’ll probably never know exactly what was said), a bigger man would have just walked away.”That’s my opinion and if you don’t like it, well, I have others.” ~ Groucho Marx – Al

Exhibit E- What would be your answer, then? Start a fight? Or walk away? I know which one I’d choose.“That’s my opinion and if you don’t like it, well, I have others.“ ~ Groucho Marx - Al   —–Ed. note- And so do we. Al Yellon in the face of the overwhelmigy evidence presented agaisnt you I hearby declare the pussy shoe does fit you quite nicely. Al Yellon you are a pussy.

As always much thanks to Ryno for his help.

Another Monday Name That Douche!

Remember folks the picture itself holds clues.

 

 

A Salute to the Fallen.

Today should be a day of celebration. Today should be a day of joy and happy gumdrop rainbows. Today should be one of the best days of the year because you see, today is my birthday. Despite the fact that today is the anniversary of my liberation from my mom’s vaginal concentration camp I find no joy, no solace or comfort in the fact that I turned out as incredibly awesome as I am.  I doubt I will even enjoy my birthday rub and tug  down in Wichita’s Little Hanoi later on. What could possibly take the fun out of a healthy 24 getting a vigorous Asian inspired hand job? The answer of course is Al Yellon. For you see yesterday I logged into one my numerous BCB sleeper accounts only to find a message so many of us have seen before.  

 

So it seems that yet another eBody has been throw into Al’s Internet furnace for disposal. This man is so villainous he has even been known to delete all comments of an offending poster thereby eliminating all traces of  jewspeople who oppose him. But here at F.A.Y. we say no more! Never again will our comrades disappear into the night, never again will the BCB Fuhrer pretend his enemies and our friends never existed.  This year I spent my grandma’s 25 dollar birthday check to order an exquisite virtual marble monument to be inscribed with all the names of the countless fallen. (All inscriptions done by the incomparable Jame Gumb) This monument will be a testament of their sacrifice and a reminder to all those who come after them of the relatively low price of combating online douchebaggery and faggotism. Ladies and Gentlemen I am proud to be here today at the unveiling ceremony of the Victims of Yellon Memorial Wall.

Let Us Never Forget.