Al Yellon thinks this is an acceptable sentence.

April 6, 2009

Time does heal all wounds, so they say, and the hurt of October faded, with winter waning, and the sunshine of spring beaming down on fresh baseball fields, bringing the promise of a new year, the “Wait till next year” that never seems to come for us as Cubs fans. 

 

I, think that, Al was taught, poorly, how to right (sic) because this, is, awful, dear reader.

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Al the Scout

April 3, 2009

Herr Yellon is notorious for reminding us that there are things that “cant be measured in a stat sheet”. Usually he is referring to a players grit, willingness to give quotes to the MSM for Al to reuse at BCB or a players overall whiteness. Lately, however, Al has taken to offering insights into actual performances ala Arizona Phil. Predictably he doesn’t know what the fuck he is talking about. Let’s take a look at some of this would be writer/scout/leader of men’s reports from the field.

Scouting Chad Gaudin on April 2nd- That run scored off Chad Gaudin, who actually didn’t throw too badly even though he allowed three runs. The homer given up by Gaudin to Ryan Garko was a blast that hit an umbrella over the Indians’ relief pitchers in the RF bullpen.

Hmm, it would seem that throwing well and giving up a monster HR and 3 runs in the same outing wouldn’t correlate. Perhaps there was something that my nerdy stat sheet couldn’t measure? Like how awful Gaudin has been all spring? It’s wasn’t just the HR either, Al managed to  overlooked the additional 6 hits and a walk that Gaudin gave up all within 2 innings. That is the definition of an inept outing and it doesn’t take much scouting to figure that out. It took a little while to figure out why Al chooses to ignore evidence right in front of him but know I’ve figured it out, it’s because he likes how Chad’s beard looks. You heard it here first people Al Yellon likes his men a little bearish dcbearfix1


Al Yellon is Dead.

April 1, 2009

Mr. Yellon passed away after choking to death on Smooth Jazz Man’s sperm. He is survived by his son’s bad haircut and a daughter who has previously never been mentioned.  The body will lie in state at Kerrysotherwife’s house for the next few days.

tombstone-clipart

 

 

 

April Fools!  (Sadly)


Gullible

March 26, 2009

Gullible–adjective

easily deceived or cheated.

For those of you unfortunate enough to have known Herr Yellon a few years back you might recall Al’s unwavering support of the Tribune company line in all matters Cub. This was especially true when it came to Mark Prior and the never ending string of lies that MacPhail and his cronies were intent on feeding the average fan.  The favorite modes of deception were the team mouthpiece Tribune newspaper  and through quasi-corporate schills like Mr. Yellon. Al has long crowed about his “inside sources” and seems to genuinely believe that somebody at Trib Co gives a fuck about him and his blog. He has never questioned the information provided to him and therefore has long been a sounding board for the company line the Tribune wanted to broadcast to the masses. Back in the spring of 06 the company line they desperatley wanted to sell was that Mark Prior was behind on his pitching schedule again but not because of any arm injury. Rather it was because he had suffered from the flu in January and had never really recovered. Keep in mind this was going down in March and 99% of us have had the flu. It doesn’t take 2 months to get over the flu yet the team really thought that instead of acknowledging what was being widely reported which was that Prior had problems in his shoulder they would issue this laughable excuse and attack Will Carroll and wish it all away.  Eager to show his corporate masters that he was a loyal solider Al decided to attack Will Carroll’s(accurate) report in this post my favorite line was this

“So what? There is absolutely no evidence that he has any physical problems; doing the towel drill, which is a feature of Larry Rothschild’s regime, means absolutely nothing.”

A flu free Mark Prior went right out and had such a horrible spring he didn’t even make the major league team, was throwing his fastball in the mid 80’s and as we all know the inside of his shoulder looked like this truck

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Fast forward to 2009 and the Cubs have another mega talented yet injury& flu prone starter in Rich Harden. This time the Cubs have been more open in admitting that Harden has a tear of some sort in his shoulder yet last week when Harden missed a scheduled start due to *you guessed it* illness the team admitted he might not be ready for opening day. And I thought groundhog day was over already.  Predictably this is the headline post at BCB  . Look familiar? It seems that Al is either unwilling to unable to look at this team critically and more than eager to accept whatever pablum Crane Kenney and Co throw at him. What could be his reward for failing to examine the team he blogs about for the sake of the thousands of readers of BCB? A Mike Fontenot interview or a sit down with Kenney himself. That’s the price Al set for his journalistic integrity and it speaks volumes about the man.

Now I’m off to make up some blue Kool-Aid and sent Harden a packet of Thera-Flu to heal that tear in his pitching shoulder. You Gotta Believe!


sorry for the delay

March 24, 2009

in posting but I just got word that the Al haters in my family will be doubling in about 9 months.

I must secure a new Al Yellon free future for my child. I shall re-double my efforts to Fire Al Yellon!


Blog Wars

March 13, 2009

Editor in Chief in Commander’s note- Cubbiejulie is not responsible. Someone at her blog is. The longer the person resonsible for this travesty hides in the shadows the worse this will be for everyone. I am so totally serious here guys, this is priority alpha.

 

It has come to my attention that some editor on a power trip over at League of Her Own has de-linked this illustrious blog out of loyalty to Yellon. Let me just say that all collaborators should be exposed and eShot. If I find out who is responsible for this atrocity I will reveal the traitor for the entire readership of FAY to see. The very thought of 3-6 moderately angry people should strike terror into the heart of whomever is responsible for this heinous tragedy. Until this coward comes forward or is caught I am upgrading FAYs alertness status to “Blackwatch Plaid” and will invoke a link embargo on LOHO if this matter is not resolved  soon.

 

You have 1 day.


Don’t Fuck With Al Yellon!

March 11, 2009

or you might get snotty comments like this

I never said your argument was unreasonable, nor did I say you aren’t entitled to your opinion.

You did say “stupid fans like you”. That’s inappropriate. You seem to deliberately want to provoke me and others. Knock it off.

“That’s my opinion and if you don’t like it, well, I have others.” ~ Groucho Marx

by Al on Mar 11, 2009 10:31 AM CDT to parent up reply reply   0 recs

Knock it off haters! Otherwise you will be banned to make room for more guys like this